I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
