your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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