i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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