I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize
