Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
