i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
