Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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