kristin has been a bad kristin
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
