apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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