Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
