Don't you send me to vm
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
