I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He shit in the fireplace
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
