you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
