Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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