He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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