Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
