We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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