i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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