Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
