That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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