Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
