I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
