oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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