guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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