I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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