My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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