I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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