she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
