There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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