so explain again why im purple
no
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
