she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
