I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
