so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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