i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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