I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
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