Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
