I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
