yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
