He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
false alarm. still invincible.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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