I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I would ride that face into the sunset
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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