OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
