I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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