Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
