i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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