i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Randomize
