u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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