I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
