You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
