he puts the penis in happiness.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
