I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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