therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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